How to Respond When I've Been Hurt

How many of you have had pain or hurt brought into your life because of another person’s maliciousness, bad decision-making, or bad behaviour? Or you’ve had someone you trusted betray you in the worst way possible? 

The actions of others can cause intense pain and hurt in our lives. 

It's one thing when you incur the consequences of something that you've caused yourself - we expect those consequences and face them willingly. We sometimes even feel that we deserve the consequences. But when you're innocent, when you've done nothing wrong, and you're paying for the deliberate indiscretions of another person... it's just not right. 

To make this situation worse, these predicaments oftentimes come at the hands of someone you know like a family member or trusted friend. And that makes it even worse, doesn’t it? In the Psalms, David faced a situation just like this, and he shares it with us in these words:

“If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God, as we walked about among the worshipers.” Psalm 55:12-14 (NIV)

When you’ve been hurt by someone close to you, the pain is much more intense. It's the last thing you would ever expect from that person and it hurts even more. Life isn’t fair, these things should never happen to us.  But when they do, we’re put in the gut-wrenching position of having to decide how we will respond to it. We all have two choices. 

We can respond our way or God's way. 

When you choose to respond in your own way, you will be left mad, unforgiving, and bitter. You will plan how you can retaliate and you will hold a grudge. All of these things give us a false sense of being in control. The downside is that our own way will eat us alive. We will become obsessed with the person and with the situation, playing it over and over again in our mind and it will go on to affect other relationships in our lives. It will own us.

But God's way is the total opposite of ours. 

When you choose His way, you allow God to grant you understanding and you allow God to comfort you. When you choose God’s way, God's forgiveness flows through you - now it may take some time, maybe a long time, for your emotions to settle, but that's okay because you will find peace for your soul. 

This is precisely why we need Jesus. 

Jesus gives us peace for the things that we do not understand. Jesus gives us rest for the things that cause unexpected anxiety. Jesus gives us comfort for the things that cause hurt and pain in our lives. 

Let’s look at a few verses from Psalm 55 as David works through his pain.

“As for me, I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. He rescues me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me.” Psalm 55:16-18 (NIV)

“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. But you, God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of decay; the bloodthirsty and deceitful will not live out half their days. But as for me, I trust in you.” Psalm 55:22-23 (NIV)

David says, ”But I will trust in you.” That is the key, my friend, and that is my prayer of encouragement for you today. In those times of turmoil when you can't understand the pain you are in, call on God and allow Him to save you. Cast your cares on Him. He is more than trustworthy.